The Amazon: Follow the Man with the Machete

A few hours after arriving at our destination in the Colombian region of the Amazon jungle,  a strong gust of densely humid air blew through our dining area, a trigger for the skies to purge what it had been digesting from the tropic atmosphere throughout the last day.  Massive rains, explosive thunder, and awesome lightening seized the jungle.  It seemed like the Amazon river was now flowing down from the sky rather than across the horizon.  We rushed back to our bungalow, a small screened in treehouse with a simple bathroom, to shelter our bags from the now sideways rain and seek refuge in our mosquito netted beds.   With their bobbing headlamps pointed at my face, the boys looked for reassurance.  I’m pretty sure they could see right through me when I shouted over the rain to say this would be a fantastic new adventure.  Of course, as I pulled my own blanket tight to my nose, I wondered how in the world were we going to make it through 5 days in the jungle.  Really, we’re doing this?

We did, and it was awesome. 

Calanoa Lodge was the most remote and foreign location that any of us have ever been.   It is located one and a half hours by boat up the Amazon river from the transport city of Leticia.  The only way in and out of Leticia, which lies on the boarder of Colombia, Peru, and Brazil, is by air or boat.  As such, most Colombians have never ventured down to this region.

  

That sounds intimidating until we learned that one can source virtually everything one needs within the Amazon.  Food, shelter, medicine, you name it.  Cue Jeff Bezos grinning ear to ear.

Our guide Eliceo was the real deal as Amazonians go.  He grew up deep in the jungle, within a small tribe that honored its jungle surroundings as it’s provider and protector (I scratched my head at how tarantulas and jaguars can protect but we will get to that).  If you met him he’d actually call himself a jungle boy.  His childhood didn’t include our common comforts of electricity or running water, yet by age twelve he knew more about how to survive and thrive in what many would deem to be a dense stretch of scary earth.

Eliceo with his two monkeys

   

Our indoctrination to jungle life took place during a muddy morning hike. Walking the jungle with kids reminds us crusty adults that fear is relative.  Kids’ fears are one dimensional and resolvable with exploration.  Like looking under the bed for monsters, the boys simply needed someone to tell them it was ok to touch, observe, and listen to different sounds.  As for Sean and I, it was a little more complex.

Over two hours we developed a newfound appreciation for living in and off of the land.  Hungry?  Grab copious handfuls of fresh açai, the trendy superfood found on every corner in Brooklyn.  Forgot your water bottle?  Slice off a sipo de agua, or water vine, for some pure H2O.  Stomach ache because of some malcarne?  Cut open another tree and lick the foaming white magnesium liquid (i.e Milk of Magnesia) that quickly oozes out to settle your stomach, or the Sangre de Drago tree to heal any wound. 

Not trying to be cocky, but if you give me a machete and 10 minutes, I can probably find a cure for anything that ails you.   Just sayin’.

The boys have found their groove with writing for school, so I thought I’d tap their labors for this post, giving this week’s entry a fresh voice.

EAMON’S AMAZON:

I was excited to visit the Amazon until…I got into bed because MOSQUITOS BIT ME!  I went fishing in a cool area and I caught a red bellied piranha.  I had it for dinner and it tasted good.  But the best part was the monkeys because they liked to cuddle with me.  When we were on the boat we also saw a pink dolphin, which is supposed to be good luck.

Eamon’s amigo

 

Our fearless leader inviting a tarantula out to play

OWEN’S AMAZON:

The place that we went to in the Amazon was an eco lodge called Calanoa.  We stayed there for five days.  The problem was that we had no hot water or wi-fi and my parents lost their bank cards (totally unrelated but worth mentioning).  But, it was very cool there.  One of the three funnest things that we did there was Piranha fishing.  It was hard because when a piranha bit your bait you had to pull it up very fast or it would take a little bit of your bait. 

First catch of the day: a vampire fish

The second coolest thing that we did was go to a monkey orphanage.  It was fun because the monkeys would climb on you.  One baby monkey was nice because you could hold out your arm and the monkey would climb and hold on very tight.  The other cool thing that we did was go on a night walk.  We saw a ton of different animals including tarantulas and bullet ants.  The Amazon is a fun experience during the day, but at night it is creepy.

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

JP’s AMAZON:

We awake to birds chirping and the sound of the calling frogs. It is another warm and humid day just like the one before. I pester my brother to go to breakfast like mosquitoes attacking fresh meat. At 9 o’clock, we start our jungle trek to the monkey sanctuary located in the village next to us. The president is flying down to a village 1 and 1⁄2 hours away so helicopters buzz over our heads every minute. We enter an open section of land filled with an assortment of trees. In the first ten seconds we have been there, a white monkey has climbed up, and has taken to pick through my hair. For the next 10 minutes, this white monkey stays clinged to my arm.

The fur collides with my scalp and he starts to bite my ears. His tiny jaws are wrapped around my nose and then as fast as he came, he leaps of my head and into the trees. This gave me a chance to study the other monkeys. A large wooly monkey takes an instant liking to my left leg and burrows in. Fruits are dropping from all over. A shy spider monkey is crouching under the shelter afraid to come out. Not even a juicy pineapple will make the fury beast come out. His eyes look like large black jelly beans. We feed the monkeys and then let them play. One baby monkey is trying to figure out home to open a lighter. Another one is chugging down a bottle of gatorade.

Suddenly, I feel the wooly monkey reach into my pocket and grab my phone. He is attempting to eat the phone when the keeper hands him an apple. Two hours fly by and before we know it we are on our way home. I think I have made a couple of new friends. 🙂

One afternoon after fishing for piranha near Puerto Nariño, our guide suggested we cool off in a nearby”lake” for a swim.   A lake in the Amazon refers to a larger body of water that eventually feeds into the Amazon…so it’s not completely isolated.  Eliceo said it was completely safe for swimming.   Presumably, one has no choice but to trust one’s guide after three days in the jungle…or so I thought.   Trying to be cool (for the kids, of course) I didn’t ask questions but rather kept an eagle’s eye for any strange movements.    Before I knew it, however, my four amphibians otherwise known as Sean, JP, Owen, and Eamon had cannonballed off the side of our wooden boat, and proclaimed that I was worthless if I didn’t come in.  Shoot.

Admittedly the swim felt incredible.  We even convinced a few nervous Germans from a small nearby boat to take the plunge as well, which they did.  After all, you can’t let a seven year old out “man” you, can you?

Swimming in an amazon “lake”

After climbing back in the boat, I noticed that Owen had cut his finger slightly and it was bleeding.  I took his hand towards the side of the boat to clean it off in the water, when Eliceo’s hand suddenly grabbed my wrist.   He shook his head.  “Blood would attract too many friends,” he said quietly.

I’m having some issues with trust now.

A big inspiration for this trip was to get out of our comfort zones.  While there were no badges awarded or commemorative ceremonies, it’s safe to say we achieved this in the Amazon.  Would we go back? Probably not right away.  Are we glad that we went? Absolutely.     

What we are missing most right now:

JP: Curling up on the couch to watch a movie after a long week.

Owen: Giant flat screen TV’s

Eamon: Copious quantities of mac and cheese

Sean: Sharing a “real” beer with friends

Christine: Girlfriends

21 Comments

  1. Looks amazing, Lavins!!
    Continue enjoying every minute of your adventure…
    There will be lots of TV watching, mac and cheese, beers and friends for you all when you come back home!
    Thanks for sharing, stay safe and I look forward to hearing more!

  2. Awesome, amazing, cool…. and I run out of adjectives! Christine, didn’t your father and his father do something like this years ago?

  3. Loving watvhing your journey!

  4. The Bliley Family

    Another AMAZING adventure!!! How incredible!!! Joseph especially loved this one!!! He says to tell Eamon a huge hello with a big hug!! We are so excited for your family and LOVE sharing this adventures with you!!! xoxo

  5. Great Amazonian adventures, excellent writings by everyone. “A’s” for all…just say in as Teach Granma. Xxxoo

  6. I am completely loving your stories and what a pleasure to read what the boys wrote! All so beautifully captured in words and photos. So much fun following along on this journey.

  7. Super cool stories
    Good job Eamon, OWEN and JP
    We miss you all Xx

  8. Loved hearing from the boys!! . The best and most memorable adventures are the ones that include some trials and tribulations. You are creating the best kind of memories. Love and hugs to you all.

  9. Such overwhelming adventures! Enjoy every moment / all your favorite things will be here waiting when you return! Have fun! And keep the stories coming! xx

  10. Tarantulas, piranhas, mosquitos … oh my!!

  11. Wow, treehouse in the jungle, your my hero Christine and I know the boys are loving the bugs, monkeys and great fishing!!! When you come home, we will definitely do a spa day ☺️? promise!!
    Miss and love you guys, safe journeys,
    Jill xoxoxoxo

  12. Thanks for letting me live vicariously through you guys. The video collage was awesome. Keep those coming.

    • Seriously, where are you meeting us? Believe it or not, I saw a currywurst roadside stand somewhere recently (Nicaragua i think?) and it sparked a great Schwers story that I told my crew. Great laughs!

  13. What an incredible, life changing experience! I love the pink dolphin sighting and pirahna eating! What fun and awesome adventures. Keep the posts coming! xx

  14. Too much testosterone, huh?

    Sounds like you all are having a blast. I’m loving reading your posts!

  15. Hi Lavin’s,
    Every Friday during our tech class, we pull up this blog and love reading all about your latest adventures. You intrepid explorers are inspiring all of us to dream and plan.
    I imagine the storm must have been wildly awesome! JP, what was that tree goo? Most of us made the same face you did. Classic!

    • Thanks so much to tuning in! JP was very excited to connect with his GCDS peeps today so keep in touch! BTW, the tree in the Amazon was called Sangre de Drago. Cut it open and spread the blood-like sap on an open wound or cut, and it’s better than Neosporin (or so they say!)

  16. How amazing! The kids are so cute n I’m sure your family will never forget this amazon adventure

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